Confidence

It’s been a few weeks I was absent from writing. Yeah… yeah, writer’s blogs, you can say that. Another reason is because it’s the time of a semester when I need to meet each of my students to see how they have learned and how I can help to improve their entire semester. It’s tedious and tiring but it’s fun in some ways, especially in listening to their ideas for speech assignment.

I always admire people’s creativity and I believe every body can do something creatively if only there are others who help them grow. For me, confidence building is the window to support it.

I’ve been always wondering about confidence building. How one get it as if they were born with it, while others really work hard and think that they don’t get it at all. I believe, regardless how smart or not a person is, somehow they can make it as long as they get a support. Believe me… building your confidence is not easy especially if you’re a shy person and feeling you don’t belong to anywhere.

So, listening to each of my students, talking about their feeling either happy or confused during mid semester meeting means something to me. Their red faces when they’re scared or stuttered if they’re not sure what to talk to has always been a clue for a new idea. In the end, when that idea came, it’s my turn to be dumbfounded for not knowing what they know.

I can’t imagine those who’ve taught for years. In the past, teaching maybe a linear process, but in today’s technology, influence came from all direction. It makes me scared thinking to work as a professor, because this might means that your research activity will be a never ending job, not only for a tenure requirement but also to keep up with the students. Well…I should give no more comment because my lack of confidence come again for no reason.

Robot USA

I have a mixed feeling when I’m thinking of robot. When I was a kid, I thought having a robot is great, especially to help me do some chores at home and entertaining me with their silly sound. However, this perception changed when I came to study and live in the States.

In an interview with John Stewart of the Daily Show, PW Springer, the author of a new book. “Wired for war: The robotics revolution and conflict in the 21^st century, Springer described that perception of robot is indeed different in parts of the worlds. John Stewart seemed reading my mind and mention Astro Boy, a Japanese animation about a helpful robot that save the earth. Of course people laughed about it when Stewart mentioned it.

C’mon, I’m sure I’m not the only one who used to think that robot is a fine thing to play with rather than a pet. Look, if you grew up in Asia, you might think the same way.

Anyway, Springer then described that different perception of robot between the US and other parts of the world has also been influenced with the rise and popularity of science fiction. I was fond of robot when I was a kid because I viewed it as a hero, similar as Gatot Kaca or Superman. But apparently most US films described it as a slave, which can turn against them one day. That explained why now I think robot is scary.

Through his research, Springer who currently works as a Senior Fellow and Director of the 21st Century Defense Initiative at the Brookings Institution, then described how the US developed and use robots, which was inspired in films such as Terminator or other science fiction movies into their own technologies: “We have created these incredible things that can do just astounding feats, and yet we are doing it here in the US mainly for war.”

Robot for war?… now I get it.

Well.. in that case, I’d rather have a robot made in Japan, rather than made in USA.

Go Vols

It’s 8.30pm, the wind blows, cold…. I wrapped myself with different colors of clothing; white, red, blue, green and colorful scarf and walked briskly to the library to meet a friend for basketball game.

Sialan… I cursed myself with my native language, once again I made a mistake in choosing the right colors of my outfit especially because I sit on the third row L Luckily, it’s a great game, right from the beginning. Our team won over the Gators and we’re all too busy cheering for the Orange.

As I watched the black, white and orange in the sea of audience in the huge Thompson Boling, I realize that Orange is not such a bad color. I’ve been here in UT, but have no single attire from the Volunteers. Don’t get me wrong, I love my school but for others it might sound that I don’t. A friend of mine said that people should stop talking about the old school for at least 3 years in order to embrace the new school.

This is the third year I’m away from Ohio University, where I did my master. Yet, I continue to talk about it. As I went home, thinking, I thought of what she said. It’s the last year of my school and I probably leave anytime soon. It’s the time for me to boast that I’m a Volunteer and I should boast it with a new Orange shirt .

Sssst

It’s 6.12am on Sunday in the cold Knoxville TN, I tried to sleep in but my brain is too busy thinking of what I need to do today. I have to say that my brain often works too fast from the rest of my body.

I guess many of us feel the same. A student of mine complained one day, she found difficulty in her impromptu speech. “I found my brain and lips worked differently, one moved faster than the other, it made me really frustrated”. She said, when she explained her experience having to speak in front of the class with only 5 minutes preparation.

I totally understand that because I feel the same way most of the time. It seems there are two sides of me, communicating inside me. If I chose my brain, I often sound philosophical and confusing. If I let my lips uttered any words, it might sound too silly. Yet, both are the tools for us to communicate. If we’re lucky, we can unite the two instruments. However, many times we chose to be silent to prevent misunderstanding. Those who live overseas probably know what I’m saying.

I guess that’s why many people chose writing. I might have to do the same. Maybe I should start with blogging. I’ve always against this for a long time because I like privacy but I guess the online world dictated different definition on privacy.

Ssst… I need to turn off the debate on my brain. I don’t even want to think what language I should write or whether I should edit beforehand. It’s time to write. Maybe it’s not too late to blog, at least it creates a space to practice my awful writing J

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